So many things in our lives are unsure, especially in this day and age. Our family has certainly experienced a lot of unsurety. It has been a long and difficult journey. However, as I read through my blogs (which I write mainly to check back and see how far we've come), I realize that much of the time, it's been difficult because we've made it so. We've been holding onto our wishes and desires and praying for God to please help us and make things work out, yet we haven't actually given these requests to Him - completely. It's like a child who has a broken toy and wants daddy to fix it. She holds it out to him, but as he takes it, she keeps hanging on because she's scared that if she gives it up completely, she'll never get it back. Little does she realize that she'll get it back even better than it was before!
A passage I read that week stated : "At the root of worry, we find fear. In an effort to overcome that fear, we try to be brave. This doesn't replace or take away fear - it just masks it and gives us strength to act. We need to replace fear with security. As God becomes bigger worry becomes smaller. When we are secure in Christ, we don't have to fear. When we don't fear, we don't have to worry. Worry and fear are now replaced by trust.
- Fear separates; Trust brings together
- Fear blurs; Trust clarifies
- Fear disconnects us; Trust re-engages us
Everything won't make sense. It doesn't have to. We won't have to try to make sense of the chaos, but instead can trust that God is with us. He will strengthen us and help us. He will hold us. He is THAT good. You can be secure in that. You can trust in that."
I do not want to be surprised again, and have to rush and panic with packing up and getting ready for another overseas move. So, in the meantime, I have registered with several recruitment agencies and sent out all my info. I have already interviewed with a Principal in Abu Dhabi (in the Middle East), as well as a recruiter from Melbourne who has sent me some job offers in Abu Dhabi, Tanzania and Cairo.
No, I am not accepting anything right now. I am preparing just in case we have to leave. I do not know what God's plan is right now, and I don't need to know. All I need to know is that He is in control. I believe He will open the doors He wants us to go through, or close doors that He doesn't. I believe He will give us the wisdom we need at the right time, to make the right decisions.
Do I have worries and concerns? Of course! I worry about my old dog that will not do well with anyone (she's a little cranky with other dogs and is very protective). She may need to be put down :( I worry about paying off our credit cards that we had to use after we got here, because we used up all our savings in South Africa. I worry about paying off our phones as they're still under contract. I could go on, but then that gentle whisper reminds me :
He reminds me of His command :
So that's where I stand. Giving every situation to Him, with thanksgiving, and He, in His infinite wisdom and kindness, gives me His peace.
I do not have the strength for this.
I do not have the patience for this.
I do not have the answers, or a plan.
I do have a God that is bigger than all of this. He is in tomorrow. I believe He will make this trial a blessing, and will teach me the lessons I need to learn. I believe, in His time, He will bring our family out of this. How and when? He knows.
Therefore : I am here
- by God's appointment
- in His keeping
- under His training
- for His time.
No comments:
Post a Comment