Closings

As the school year starts to come to a close, we are looking at where we've been and where we are going. No, we don't have a passport for Zane yet, but we are trusting that God's timing is better than ours (even though it may not make sense).

The last few weeks have been very trying. We have been struggling through various issues, or spiritual attacks, from many different places. Each issue/attack totally different, but just as difficult to get through. We have, however, been learning more about ourselves and others through this, and, most importantly, how God wants us to handle these situations.  As much as it hurts when people you love act in a way towards you that cuts to the core, we remember that in God's word is says that we need to rejoice when we face trials of any kind, because these trials will test our faith, and the testing of our faith produces perseverance. Who does not want perserverance in this day and age when it's so easy to just give up and take the easy road? We also remember that none of us is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Something easy to forget when someone errs against you and yet you are accused of being the one making the mistake

So, even though our flesh has been running rampant with our thoughts, I am thankful that God gently reminds us that we need to act in the Spirit, and not in the flesh. We are not anything special...we are sinners who are not perfect but are saved by God's grace. So we need to extend that grace to other, because : 

Last night, we had a women's evening at a dear friend's house. She organized for us all to come over and fellowship and spend time with one another. Each woman, that was not leaving the school at the end of this year, was asked to give a verse or say something about each of the 3 of us that were leaving. Needless to say, it ended up being an amazing tear-filled, snot-dripping, full-of-love evening. I have not been feeling too devastated, because we don't have a departure date yet, so there isn't really a FINAL day for us yet. So I didn't expect to have any trouble getting through the night. Nope!  God's Spirit was there and touched each and every one of us in an incredible way. To have had the honor of working with women as amazing as these is something I don't deserve!  I cherish each one of them and will always have a part of them in my heart.

One other thing that has touched my heart the last 2 weeks has been watching the passion for Christ and others that the students at this school have. A dear friend opened her classroom for prayer during recess for Zane's passport. So we have been there every day praying, on our knees, or standing praising with worship music. To see students come in and pray for something that is not for them, is an incredible thing to see. I have cried many tears watching these sweet children - many of whom I don't even teach!

The trouble with international teaching is that you end up leaving with a broken heart, but so much better off because of relationships that have been formed.

No, this was not part of our plans when we initially moved to the USA. But I wouldn't change it for anything. I wouldn't change meeting the students I have met. I wouldn't change the relationships formed with all the wonderful people at this school. 

Thank you, God, for 

lessons learned, 

a heart enriched, 

friendships woven, 

and faith strengthened. 

When Things Don't Always Go According to our Plan or Timing

I generally write these blogs for myself, so that I can look back at the journey our family has been on and see how God has been working to bring us through the difficult times, and all the challenges that we have had to face. I can see how things have not always worked out the way I have wanted, but that, inevitably, God’s plans has always been better and His timing has always been perfect.

We have learned to trust Him - He WILL do what He says.  So many times, when we’ve been through something challenging, kind friends and family have said, “Oh it will be alright - God has got this!!”, or, “Of course it will happen - God is in control!”  Well, I KNOW that. God DOES have it all. He IS in control. But when it does happen, it’s not just because He waved his magic wand and made everything work out. He took us through a place where we had to trust in Him and lean on Him for whatever outcome. I have had people tell me that, and it DIDN’T  work out the way we had planned - the few times we thought we would get to stay in the US but had to leave…..

Many people have told me, “Zane’s passport is coming, God has it…” and so on. I KNOW God has it, but if you understood what was involved and how complicated this actually is, you would understand what a great miracle it will be when it finally arrives.

The South African government is a mess right now.  The South African Embassy in Argentina is having a hard time talking to them about the passport. When you try to check online to see where it is, they haven’t yet removed the information on his old passport. So no-one knows what’s happening (I KNOW…….. God knows!!).

So, I was recently contact by a gentleman who has an agency that works with passports, expediting them, etc. I did not want to contact him back because I figured God has this all under control. Until someone reminded me that perhaps God sent him. So we’re going to use him to try to figure out what is going on. He is in South Africa and will physically be able to go to Home Affairs to see what is going on.  He said that if he is not successful, payment is not required, but I am believing that it will all come together.

Do I understand God’s plan and His timing in everything - absolutely not. In fact, He confuses me most days! But I do trust Him. Am I confused as to why things are not going through smoothly and quickly - oh yes. But I will continue to trust Him.

Louis Giglio said : God doesn’t give us a blueprint of our lives, because then we’ll run and try to do it on our own - He gives us enough light for each day.  He says, “I’m going to give you a big enough task that you’re going to have to cling to me because the task is going to be bigger than anything you think you can do in and of yourself”.

So as we cling to God and continue to believe in His promise that we have a hope and a future, please continue to believe with us - not letting glib words slip off our tongues about how God has got this and how He will make this all right, but truly believing and understanding the power and depth of what He can do.

And while we cling and wait, we trust that everything will fall into place in exactly God’s timing - which is always perfect.

The Journey Continues

This is kind of a continuation from my last blog....where I spoke about the fact that we were prepared to be wherever God showed us He wanted us to be.

So let me go back a few months to the events that lead up to where we are going.

In October, I was chatting to my dear friend, Jenni, on Facebook. She and her husband left South Africa for Thailand a little before our journey here. They have loved it there, and she mentioned that we should come over and teach there too.

I told her it would be fabulous, but we were planning on going back to the US, if God opened those doors, and hopefully back to Shelaine and my old school.  So we didn't think any more of it...much, anyway. It was always at the back of my mind, but not as something that I thought would pan out.

So, in January I sent out my resume to a couple of schools (including the public schools) in our area in North Carolina, and emailed my old school asking if there was the possibility of an opening.  Marlowe and I then prayed, and asked God to open or close the doors, so that we would know where we needed to be.

He firmly closed the doors and, though we were a little disappointed, we felt at peace. This is what we asked for.

In the meantime, I was chatting with Jenni again and she told me that I should send my resume to her school. That even though there were no positions available,  positions sometimes came up when people finished their contracts. So I sent off both our resumes, and we prayed that God would open or close this door too.

February 11th :  Acts 5:38  Let them alone : for if this plan or this work is of man, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, You cannot overthrow it.

On February 23rd, one of my friends, came to me and told me she had a dream about me. She said she did not often dream of others, but she felt that this was possibly a prophetic dream.  She dreamed that she saw me standing in the middle of a road on the median.  I was getting ready to cross to the other side when a guy, dressed in black and red, started attacking me, beating me on the head and hips. I fought back and eventually neutralized him by pushing him to the ground. A car drove past and hit his bike, and I crossed over to the other side.

I did not totally understand this dream at first, but as we started hearing more from God, it began to make sense.

It had been about a month, and we had not heard anything from Thailand. Jenni told me that often the schools don't email if they don't have positions. So we rested, believing that this was probably a sign and that we would be in Paraguay for another 2 years. We were at peace with that.

On March 5th, I received an email from Chiang Rai International School, saying that they would love to have a Skype interview with us. I must admit, we were shocked because we thought that door was closed, and so we prayed again, asking God to open that door to an opportunity, or to close it shut, like the others, if this was not from him. I asked Him for confirmation. As I was seeking him, He gave me a bible verse and a devotion :

• The door God opens will never contradict His word
• The door God opens will come/be accompanied with confirmation
• The door God opens will require you to depend on Him

Some of you may understand when I say He "hid" the bible verse from me, even though I wrote it down. There was a reason for this

The interview went well - it was almost like a meet and greet. We enjoyed meeting Johanna and Jim, and they told us that if they wanted to more forward, they would contact us for a 2nd interview.

During the next week, we continued to seek God, wanting desperately to be where He was, follow where He led and do what He set out for us to do. We were told that they had other people to interview, and this also set us at ease. Please God, find someone more suitable for this job if it's not from you.

Then we laid out some things that we needed to fall into place, asking God for confirmation :

• We needed to have a way for the tickets to be paid. After all our travels, and earning less than half of a salary in Paraguay, we have no savings left. We have never been in need, but we don't have a buffer to help us.
• A position for Marlowe. They only had one position available.
• Zane's passport
• Brendon's passport so that he could continue to apply for schools in the US and leave whenever God opened those doors

On March 13th, I received an email for a 2nd interview. We immediately went to prayer. God revealed a bible verse to me, and it was so clear, that I was shocked. I asked 2 close friends to please pray over it, but I didn't want to reveal it to them. I wanted confirmation of that particular verse.

On Friday, March 17th, I went to our staff worship, with the mindset that I was hoping to hear from God. I was asked to read a passage of scripture out loud after our 2nd song.  This is what I read :

Wow!  It hit me hard that God was opening this door, and that He was with us. We did not need to fear or worry.

Later that day, we received an email with a job offer from Thailand. I read the email and then went to my prayer journal with my requests - I was able to put a check next to 3 of them :

• Brendon's passport 
• Job for Marlowe - possibly a sub / helping out with ESL 
• Tickets - mine is paid for, and the school will pay for Marlowe's and Zane's and we can pay them back.

Wow!

We realized that we needed to be in prayer because, even though this seemed like a confirmation, we needed peace at the same time. 

On Saturday, March 18th, I was going through my prayer journal, paging back to see where this had all started and where we were now.  I paged back to March 6th and was shocked to see the bible verse that I asked my friends to pray over, written down. God opened my eyes to the fact that I had written this verse down just a week before, and this was the confirmation that I had been asking for.

March 23rd : I woke up with this repeating over and over in my head : you will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.  I knew it was somewhere in Jeremiah so I looked it up. This is what I found :

The first part is a verse that's carried us over the last 15 years. How amazing that God tells us that all we need to do is seek Him and we WILL find Him!  Later that day, a friend posted this on my wall :

"Because God rules all the places where you live, he is able to deliver his promises to you in the very circumstances where they are needed." - Paul Tripp

So there you have it. A rather complicated, yet beautiful process that we are honored to be a part of. A journey that has taken us to places we never expected, to meet people we never would have met, and to form relationships that will last a lifetime. 

So, we have accepted the position in Thailand. However, this is a huge step of faith because we still don't have Zane's passport (it has mysteriously gotten "lost" in South Africa). We believe that God knows where it is and that it will be here in more than enough time for us to leave. Scary, but exciting!  Please believe with us!

Finally, after much prayer, and what we believe is confirmation from God in many ways, I signed my contract and sent it off. 

Thailand, here we come!

Prayer requests :

• Zane's passport
• A place for Brendon (who now, being an adult, has to forge his own way and find out what God's will for his life is. This is hard for us, because as a parent, you do not want to leave your child - albeit a grown one - behind. But I do believe that God is going to work through him, and teach him what it is like to lean on Him and trust Him for all that lies ahead).

This post started out as a status update on Facebook, but started getting a little long!  Then I realized that I have not posted on my blog for a VERY long time, so thought this to be the perfect opportunity!

To what extent do you need to put your trust fully in God? What exactly does this mean? Does it mean sitting down and waiting for Him to reveal His plans, reveal where He wants you to be or what He wants you to do? Or does it mean going forward to possible new opportunities and giving to it Him - asking Him to open or close the doors that you are knocking on? When does it become a case of acting in your flesh because of a desire to be somewhere? When is it pure trust that He will make your paths straight?

Those of you who know me well, know that all I want to do is be where God is. Be where He wants me to be. And as much as I often desire to be somewhere else (home with Shelaine), I don't want to be out of His plans or will for my life. Because that is not a good place to be. You can only fulfill His purpose and touch other people's lives when you are in the place He has put you.

Our life is not a boring one - God has taken us to so many places. Even though, in the beginning, I did not understand why He had us come to Paraguay, I have seen the reasons rolling over and over again. He has blessed us with so many new friends and relationships - something that we would not have gained had we stayed in the USA.

He has taught us so much - to rest and trust in Him for all our needs. Although we just earn a stipend here, it is enough to cover everything we need. Although it is not enough to send home to cover the credit cards I had to leave behind, I have found I need to trust Him in that too - knowing that when we do eventually return, we could be returning to a mess! But He can make something beautiful out of a mess...right?

I am learning to be content wherever I am, even though I have those moments where I say, "But God, you know that this would be so much easier!", or "God, how much fun would it be if we did this together?" I know He laughs at me, His child, for the silliness that goes on in my mind. But I also know that, as my heavenly Father, there are times where He has to say, "Not now" or "No", or "I have a surprise for you but you need to be patient and wait!".

We have started going to a small church in Asuncion that is led by a dear friend. His church is a missions based church. The goal of the church is to take what God has given us and taught us, and go out into the community and give it back. I've been learning how so many of us go to church to be fed and then leave without sharing what we were given with others. Pretty selfish. I know that I am definitely one who has fallen into that category. Wanting to hear God's word and find out how it can benefit me, teach me, and guide me. Hmmmm.... I don't see much of giving to others in that.

Yesterday God spoke to me through the word spoken. No, I don't understand most of what is said because it's said in Spanish. But with the help of some translation, this is what I learned :

• So often we ask God for signs.....yip, that would be me. Give me a sign to show me what you want me to do....should I do this or should I do that...show me. Instead, we should be trusting Him because He has a plan already laid out.
• You have to move in faith - don't wait for signs - if you believe God has something planned for you, and you've had confirmation in His word, then move in faith. He will honor that.
• There are no coincidences with Him - everything has a purpose. Again, trust. Trust that the things that happen to us have a purpose - even if it doesn't make sense at the time.
• The love we have in our relationships is an extension of the love we have with Him - so if we cannot love, what does this say about our relationship with Him?
• God speaks to us through His word, dreams, friends, etc. - however, test everything said against the Word. If it's from Him, it will be there.
• He never leaves us so when we feel desperate about not sensing His presence it's not Him leaving - it's us stepping away. Hmmmmmm.....
• Happiness comes from a joyful heart - no explanation necessary

And finally :

• Remember the relationship you have with Him before you go and do anything. Jesus came to us but commissioned us to go out to others. We were told that those of us from different countries needed to go back and be the salt and the light - sharing all we have been taught.

I don't really know which country I belong to any more. In the 30 years my husband and I have been together (almost 27 of which we've been married), we've lived in 3 countries. We have always strived to be where God wants us to be - even though it has not been easy. Paraguay has been such a blessing to us because it's been a place where we have learned so much, loved so much and discovered so many new friendships. If God calls us to stay here another year, or 2, or longer, then that's where we want to be.