"The Velvet Ash tree lives in the seeming emptiness of the desert. Yet it is in the desert that this tree thrives, it’s root reaching deep. Like the extremes of cross-cultural living, the Velvet Ash grows through both the extreme heat and the extreme cold. Our lives call for this kind of hardiness, this ability to thrive amidst the array of environments and situations we find ourselves in.
But you know what’s really special about the Velvet Ash? It bears a unique marking on the tips of its branches called a “leaf scar.” These scars form in the places where the leaves have fallen away. Like the tree, it’s our scars that become what is uniquely beautiful about us.
And the shape of the Velvet Ash tree’s scars? It’s the shape of a smile, reminding us that there is joy always.
Finally, the name Velvet Ashes calls to us to bring our brokenness to Him who gives beauty for ashes. (Isaiah 63:1)" Velvetashes.com
Today, I had the privilege of attending a Ladies Retreat hosted by Velvet Ashes, an online community of women serving overseas. The retreat was attended by 1,300 women from 130 different countries (the actual retreat was last week, but we couldn't have ours then so we had it today).
It was an amazing day, where God spoke to us through what we have been experiencing. It was a time where we came to God and asked what He wanted for us. We studied Psalm 23 and immediately, I was drawn to how God revealed this Psalm in a new way.
Living here in Paraguay, as you know, has been an adventure. There have been many highs and many lows. There have been times where I have been really happy, but times where I have really struggled. Today, I realized that these struggles don't need to happen because this is what God does for me (if I let Him!):
Leads
Refreshes
Guides
Comforts
Prepares
Anoints
I realized today that if my soul is restored in Him, my greatest need will be Him and not the things of this earth. I realized that although He leads me by the quiet waters, I often make the choice of walking away.
We heard testimonies, today, of ladies that have served God overseas. Wow, talk about powerful!! After listening to some of them, I realized that the suddenness of our leaving the US and coming here was almost like a death - and we needed to give ourselves time to grieve. Grieve for the fact that we left Shelaine again, grieve for friends left behind, and a life that we had become used to. It makes sense why I have some days that I am just totally miserable and don't understand why. And it's ok to be like that at times. But then I have other days (which are more) that are filled with joyous wonder at this new place and the new experiences we are having.
I did not realize, until today, that where we are, at the moment, is our Mission. This is where God sent us. He had this planned all those years ago.... even before we went to the USA for the first time. All my "trying to work things out my way" were useless, of course.
Looking back, I see His hand....in everything. We heard the story today of Jesus and Simon Peter. Simon Peter had given up after catching nothing the night before. Jesus used his boat to preach to the crowds (if Simon Peter's boat was full of fish, Jesus couldn't have used it). Then Jesus took him out (at the wrong time of day and to the wrong part of the water - the deep water) and showed him a miracle. God showed me through this that if we got to stay in the US and everything worked out the way I wanted, He wouldn't be able to use me here or show me miracles that He wanted - miracles that I know are still coming. I WANT Him to use me - however He needs.
Sometimes Jesus allows the deck of our lives to be empty so He has a platform to stand. He is getting ready to fill it! He will use this season of our lives for His glory and our good, He takes the parts of our lives that seem useless and creates sometime new. Does this always make sense? Nope. Those who know me well know that not much of the last 10 years of our lives makes sense - but I realized today, it doesn't have to. Our deep places are set up in advance so that we can get to know Him deeper.
I know He will provide all my needs including the right time to go back, a job, and the means to get back. He confirmed that He will provide all my needs here too. It doesn't always makes sense, but I'm ok with that. As long as He is in me and I am in Him, everything else will fall into place.
Let me encourage you to offer Him the empty deck of your situation and allow Him to take you to deeper waters. He will be there with you and will provide a miracle bigger than you could ever imagine.
