How did it
get to be December so quickly? Just the other day, it was October and we were
into the swing of a new school year. It
has been nonstop business as usual at school, with so many new experiences, new
people and new discoveries. It’s been a time of settling into a completely new
place and, once the excitement of all things new has worn off, struggling with
the feelings of homesickness and missing those we care about. (Some random pictures at the end of moments captured here).
As Christmas
break approached this year, we struggled with new emotions. Excited that we had
a 6 week break – long coming for this family. During the last 2 years, we have
approached every break with these thoughts :
Is this the
last one here?
Where will
be be next Christmas?
Are we
staying or going?
Should I be
packing up slowly just in case we have to leave suddenly?
We have also
spent the last 2 years packing up in a hurry, leaving the country because our
visas expired, coming back, living with uncertainty and packing up again in a
bigger hurry.
This year,
however, we are able to sit back, relax, and enjoy just being still. No anxious
thoughts about our whereabouts tomorrow, next week, or in the next couple of
months (or years).
However,
along with those emotions, were the feelings that came with watching everyone
around us packing up and going home for Christmas. A time for them to be with
their families as well as the excitement of knowing that they were able to
leave and come back. I must admit…..I
had a very hard time the last few weeks. I cried out to God and asked, “Why?” Why do we have to be away from Shelaine for
the first time in 22 years? Why do we have no choice about where we are, and no
possibly way of getting back within the near future? Why did we have to leave
all we loved and come away to a new place. Why does it have to be so HOT here
(everyone who knows me, knows I cannot bear the heat). Why, why, why???
Then God
gently reminded me that I was being a brat and complaining about something that
He had ordained and planned, long before this situation even came to be. He reminded me that His plans are always
better than mind, even though they may not seem to be at the time. He reminded
me of all the times I have cried out “Why?” in the last 10 years, and how these
times have ended up being a blessing to our lives. He reminded me in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to give
thanks in all situations, for this is God’s will for us.
In Ecclesiastes
11:5 it says “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is
formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker
of all things.”
God doesn’t
desire to break our spirits, but wants to break the flesh that prevents Him
from being all He wants to be in and through us. He wants to break off things
like pride, rebellion, selfishness and independence. God wants us to be totally
dependent on Him, and suffering seems to bring us to that point. Trials come to
test and purify our faith. They lead us to true brokenness. God wants us to
live by the spirit, not the flesh. We need to allow Him to break off any sinful
or selfish habit or trait that keeps us from Him.
So, I sat
back and focused on our situation, and the blessings He has already poured out
on us :
- we
have a place to live, surrounded by amazing people who have become great
friends – something that we can hold onto for years to come
- we
have the opportunity for a slower pace of life, where we are not running back
and forth, stopping at takeout places every night for dinner because we are
late coming home, and not catching our breaths until we have a long break
- we
have the opportunity to be intentional about each moment, if we so wish, and
appreciate the little things (hey, we can go outside and pick juicy mangoes
from the trees!)
- living
on campus gives us the ability to leave our classrooms straight after school, come
home for a quick nap, and come back a few hours later to work if we need to
- yes,
Christmas is going to be different this year (both without family and the cool
weather), but we will spend the day with friends, and we will appreciate more
this year the realization that Christmas is not about how many gifts are under
the tree, but about relationships, time spent together and precious moments.
And as Christmas break came upon us, and people started to
leave, I no longer had that ache of sorrow, but felt the excitement for them as
they packed up to leave for home. I was happy for them and their families who
were expectantly waiting for them. I thank God for these feelings, because He
is the one who changed my heart. There
is no way I could have done that on my own. God is using this time to purify my
faith. If He needs to completely break my spirit in order to teach me to live
by spirit and not flesh, then I’m all for it. I want Him to break off the
selfish traits or habits that have kept me from totally relying on Him.
So, as we
get ready for Christmas next week, I want to wish everyone a wonderful and
blessed time. If you are with family, appreciate them and love them. If your
family is nearby, but you are estranged for any reason, fix it. You never know
whether or not this will be their last Christmas. You never know what plans God
may have for you in the future. Don’t live with regrets, let go of pride, and
live each moment intentionally. God gave us His son so that we could live with
a hope of the future. Don’t waste that sacrifice.
**********************************************************
Some pictures taken over the last few months
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal with friends.
The cantina was decorated beautifully and the air was on full blast, so we had
that November coolness we were all craving. Everyone brought something to eat.
Zane took his hot chocolate and sat
in front of the "fire".
Christmas cookie exchange. Yum!
Beautiful blossoms on a tree.
